Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Frustrated, Discouraged (but not beaten) Ramblings

Surely we must be in the last days. The world is falling apart around me. It seems that it is now better to be homosexual than a straight (never divorced) married couple with children. Godlessness abounds. People walking down the street having a normal everyday conversation can be overheard referring to this f-ing thing or that f-ing thing. Sexual abstinance for unmarried people is considered outdated and stupid. Even in many of the churches today. Gay ministers? So we're now ignoring that part of the Bible that calls homosexuality an abomination in the sight of the Lord? Children now run the households as society has decided that parents have no right to correct their children. Seriously, we are one step away from society deciding that children may not go to church or be taught religion until they are 18 because it shouldn't be "forced" on them or some such nonsense as that. Hmmm reminds me of communism. No one really cares about anything that matters anymore. Reporters don't report the truth, they only report what they want people to believe. New Orleans is still a mess, but taxpayer money managed to take care of the Saints ball team and their playing stadium. Glad they have their priorities straight. And seriously, they want us to send money down there when they paid for the football team first? Little black children go missing every day, but you'll never see it on the news. Caylee Anthony will be in the news forever and she is more than likely dead. Not that her case doesn't deserve to be solved. It does, but she isn't any more important that any other child. The government says they're taking care of their wounded warriors, but empty buildings that house do nothing programs don't help. The big wigs show up for the cameras and blow a lot of smoke, but in the end nothing of value is done. They'll spend tons of money telling us how they are working for our brave wounded soldiers, but they wont put in automatic doors at the health clinic so a soldier using a walker or a wheelchair can get in with out serious difficulty/potential injury. It amazes me that we have automatic doors on the PX but not on the health clinic and no one can seem to do anything about that. They can put in place a false entity that all donations for the guys "must" go to, but the money doesn't seem to be going to the soldiers. I don't know where it goes, but I don't see it going to them. Maybe it got used in the bail out of the fat cats on wall street. I keep seeing commercials about America Supports You. But I can't seem to get any of that support for the soldiers in my husbands unit. People are always saying what can we do, but when you tell them something that the soldiers would actually want something that might actually work, somehow it can't be done. All of this tells me that no one really wants to help anyone else. I look at the movie stars and how they throw attention to this cause or that cause. I see Oprah taking up the cause of girls in Africa. It's a nice idea and all but why do they want the average american to send money we clearly don't have to these things? When Oprah and the rest of them sell everything they have and only live in a modest home and drive modest cars and wear modest clothes and fly coach and eat at home or at modest places and give all their extra money to the causes they tout, then I'll believe that this is a cause they really believe in. Seriously, I know she earned it, but what does Oprah need with a 50 million dollar home in a state she doesn't live in? Why can't that money go to feed kids in Africa? Why can't someone take up the plight of the dirt poor in our own country in Appalachia? Now there is a section of our country and a people that my heart cries for. People in our own country going hungry, no clean water, no indoor plumbing, no healthcare readily available, unable to meet their basic needs. No we'd rather send our money to some other place. What ever happened to charity begins at home? I'd like to go and work among the people of Appalachia when my husband retires. The government beuracrats wont stop me there, they don't care enough to stop me there. You don't see politicians caring about their votes. Of course Obama didn't care enough to go to see our wounded soldiers at Landstuhl since the cameras couldn't come. I can't understand anyone wanting to vote for a person who puts talking to people in other countries (where they think he's an idiot that's why they want him to win) about stuff that he has no control over over encouraging the men and women who have put it all on the line to keep his sorry butt safe. It's late and I can't sleep for all the frustration I am feeling. You'll always get the God's honest truth out of me at such times. Not that I'd lie at other times, but I might not be so forthcoming. The truth is I want Jesus to come and I want Him to do it now. I don't want to wait. I want to go. And I know that it's selfish of me because He will come just as soon as the full number is gathered in. And I do want them to make it. Thanks to Jungle mom and the others who are out there bringing them to Christ. The thing is too I know I'm not worthy. I'm not any better than anyone else. I'm just forgiven. How beautiful is that? Forgiven, not perfect just forgiven. We had a houseguest last week that did something really quite hurtfull. I spoke to her about it and it wasn't intentional just one of those thoughtless things that we all do from time to time. My husband has a hard time with stuff like that because when someone hurts me he wants to rain down hurt upon them. lol he loves me. I had the beautiful choice of choosing to forgive her or choosing to not forgive her and knowing that true forgiveness means more than saying I forgive you. It means meaning it and restoring the friendship to where it had been as if the injury had never happened. I chose to do that. I could not have made that choice had God not made that choice for me. He chose to forgive my sin and restore me to the relationship we would have had had Eve and Adam (and me)not sinned. I was thinking of Eve the other day. I was feeling a bit whelmed with Alaina and really felt (still do) that I am flying by the seat of my pants when it comes to her. Can you imagine how hard it must have been for Eve? Having those babies? She had no freakin clue how to raise them. She was never a child. She couldn't have remembered back to how she felt when she was their age. She had no mother or older sister to bounce ideas off of. There was no Dr. Phil or Dr. Dobson. She hadn't watched friends and family parent and chosen the best ideas she had seen from them to use in raising her own. I have to say I'd rather be me than her. Having had the garden, to lose it, to lose that relationship with God and then suffer learning to work and give birth, and make clothes and all of that and truly from scratch. No recipie books there. You suppose she was ever suicidal or perhaps not. Since no one had ever died perhaps it never occured to her.

PS: the baby has been waking up in the middle of the night lately. Several times and crying for a minute and then going back to sleep. Any ideas what's wrong with her?


Mrs. Happy Housewife said...

Alaina's problem might be gas or bad dreams.

As to the rest of your post, nothing like being a mother to give you a sense of impending doom and the last days. If you felt that way before becoming a mother, as I did, it greatly increases feelings of fear and hopelessness.

The World is discouraging, but we are not of the World and, no matter what takes place here, this is not our home. We're just visiting for a time. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Another good verse is Psalm 4:7-8.

Also, I wanted to let you know that your package arrived. Thank you very much. You are incredibly thoughtful. The children and I enjoyed so much looking at everything you sent. We hope Alaina is doing well (besides waking at night). Thanks again.


Hello, wow now that was some post. You did a good job of seeing things as they are in this world, thank the Lord, we are not of this world. Jesus will come when the time is right and we have to just count our blessing and not let Satan get us down where we are not being effective in our lives here.

children are such a blessing but they can be a worry too when things change with them. She may just being growing, feeling Mom's concern, pain somewhere, gums, stomach, ears, any number of places. If she has no fever probably no need to be concerned. If it is bad dreams just give her a little more attention until she feels secure again. I am sending a hug for you and want you to know that I am praying for you. God is in control so no matter how bad it gets it will get only as bad as He lets it so we can relax and know that He knows All. Take care, sweet friend and relax and enjoy your moments. connie

Rebecca said...

Thank you both. I think the crying was due to molars coming in early. They aren't supposed to be coming in for another 5 months but here they are.