America The Beautiful!

This is MY country! Land of my birth. This is MY country grandest on earth. I pledge thee my allegiance America, the bold. For this is MY country to have and to hold.

That's right I'm back in the States. For a little while anyway. Jungle mom I thought of you the other day. I'm currently at my sister's in Chicago and went to the grocery store with her the other day. Wow! What a selection! At the commissary on our small post there is little selection and I can't do a lot of shopping in the German stores because we have food allergies and I can't read all the ingredients in things. I was so amazed! In 13 months I have already forgotten how things are here. I wanted to get a cart and start buying! So I thought of Jungle mom, because if I felt that way how much more must she have been in shock.

Anyway, Alan joins me next week. Apparently our boy Smokey is not adjusting well to my absence. He is going room to room looking for me and crying. Poor Alan. The cat just wont be comforted.

It's so exciting to be here though. I got to see my baby niece. Last time I saw her she was only about 6 weeks old if that much. Now she is nearly 16 months old and is walking and talking. She is so cute! Her parents are expecting another in December at Christmas time.

So, I will be giving updates from our travels in the States over the next few weeks. Enjoy your day!

In Mourning

Our home study is tonight. I hope the pain in my heart can be hidden from my face. I feel like my mother just died. There is such a big empty hole there. My children will be born already suffering loss because they are born to a family that either does not want them or can not take care of them. There will always be that question. Why did my parents give me up? What would my life have been like? Do I have siblings out there? What a crime to come into a loving adopted family and discover your grandparents care more about your cousins than you. How can a person say that they will love a child just as much but then discriminate against them? That isn't love. What if God had said to us Gentiles, I'll love you just as much but you will not share in the inheritance (heaven) with my real children (Israel)? What if Joseph had discriminated against Jesus because he knew he was not the "real" father?

So we have torn the house apart cleaning weird things like fan parts etc. We keep a pretty clean place but it's amazing to see all that dirt and dust! I'm doing laundry right now and finishing up the kitchen and then it's all done. Our prayer is that we find favor with the surveyor and with the Guatemalan people. Our boy Smokey is busy licking his fur and washing his face. He wants to make a good impression so bad! He's so excited to be a big brother!

I hope I have not offended anyone by posting the things on my heart. It's a bit cathartic to air them.

2nd Class Grandchildren

I don't know what to say. I just got off the phone with my mother. She made it abundantly clear that my children will never be the same as her BIOLOGICAL grandchildren. She says she will love them just as much, but her things should go to actual biological grandchildren and mine will not be. Older ladies I need your guidance. I told her I will never bring my children to see her as long as she lives if she continues with that attitude. She responded that that's the way it is and nothing can change it. And yes, even now, I have forgiven her, but I will not subject my children to her hateful attitude towards them. She always refers to the adopted children of others as "that one they adopted" even when all their children were adopted. I feel as though she just died. I feel so alone in the world like it's just me and Alan. I'm past the tears and I'm in shock now.

Adoption Update

I imagine as time goes by I'll be posting more of these. Our home study is scheduled for Monday evening, so please pray that we find favor with the agency. We are so excited. I've already started worrying about whether or not I'll be a good mother. Will I be patient with the baby? How will our lives change. I'm astute enough to realize that our life will change and dramatically is my guess.

Last night we had chicken and stuffing with green beans. This weekend we will be cleaning the place top to bottom and then some. I hope our boy Smokey makes a good impression. Everyone usually loves him unless they don't like cats. That could be a problem because Smokey is a BIG cat. 16 pounds and all muscle. He is so good with children though and has such a friendly disposition.

Busy Busy

OK so we have been getting our paper work in order for the adoption. There is paper work to apply to the INS, home study paperwork, dossier paper work, and FBI paper work. They tend to all need most of the same information more or less, but of course everything must be done in triplicate and have original signatures etc. We are so excited. I am hoping for fraternal twins. One girl and one boy. Anyway, that and my upcoming vacation to the states are occupying most of my time. I'm so ready for leisure time back in the States. My country is the greatest country in the world!

One Of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days? You know, the kind of day where you can't seem to do anything right? I have. I've had that day all over the place today. Me and my big mouth. Today was a parade day the details of which will remain unpublished. As some soldiers were entering the parade field I noticed that they had on unusual uniforms. So I asked my friend sitting beside me if she knew and it turns out they are special guests from the German military. I don't know what I was thinking but I mentioned casually that they were ugly uniforms. Not that the American ones are great (they aren't) but they just didn't strike my fancy. I meant no harm. (note to self: if you can't think before you speak just shut up) A few minutes later the lady sitting in front of my friend said something. It turns out she's German. I don't know that she heard my comment, but I think she did. I was mortified to realize that what I said may very well have offended her and possibly shown her how boorish Americans are. Well, I'm sorry to say it didn't end there. I just realized that I can't tell you the other one. I don't think that person reads my blog but might. Anyway suffice it to say that I may have inadvertently let the cat out of the bag about something. It seems lately that the stupidest things come out of my mouth. Is stupidest a word? I realize I've been a bit distracted and I can't tell you all how ready I am to go back to the states for a while. Is it a bad thing to say that I'm just burned out on Europe? I just want to go home and be where I better understand things. I want to get a pedicure that doesn't make my feet itch. I want to go to a Cubs game and eat good food that's bad for me. That reminds me that I need to do a post on spaghettios. Now there's a nutritional powerhouse! I want to eat garlic dill pickles dipped in spaghettios right out of the can. I want to go to a restaurant and order something that I've heard of and do it in English. When did I become such a whiner? Well, fear not. My month long States adventure will soon be upon me. The posting will be more sporadic but it should at least be interesting.

Adoption Update

So, we have sent in our initial paperwork for adopting a little girl from Guatemala. We have heard from the agency and are preparing for our home study. This, of course, has sent me into a cleaning and organizing frenzy. I'm quite glad that I'm pretty clean and organized as it is and my husband is fairly neat. We have ordered new furniture to replace our desk and entertainment center as they are both fixing to fall apart. When it gets here and all set up, I'll post before and after pictures. The only organizing I really have to do is to baby proof the place. Make sure all the outlets are covered, move my manicure basket from the low shelf to a higher one etc. Shouldn't be too bad. The wrist is getting better and now only hurts if I try to hold or lift something heavy, so I'm trying to be careful with it. If any of you have adopted. I'd like to hear your home study stories.

Back to Titles!

I don't know what happened, but I can once more title my posts! Not that it should matter that much, but somehow it does. I have somehow managed to sprain my left wrist. I'm not sure how but it's all wrapped now and makes everything more difficult. You don't realize how much you use a part of your body until it hurts when you do. The upside of all this is that it makes me grateful for the times in my life when there is no pain. Tonight for dinner we had barbecue chicken, garlic mashed potatoes, mixed veggies and pineapple for desert. My sleep schedule is all off. I woke up at 0600 and then fell asleep at 1300 and woke up again at 1700. Now its 2400 and I'm wide awake. I don't know what's up with me. I did finally hear from Janie today. Such a relief! She is alright they have just had a bizarre set of circumstances lately.

My mom sent me this in an email. I thought I would share it. I'm still not able to title anything.

Rules from God for 20071. Wake Up !! Decide to have a good day. "Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalms 118:24 2.

Dress Up !! The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7 3.

Shut Up!! Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. "He who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3 4.

Stand Up!!... For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything.. "Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..." Galatians 6:9-10 5. Look Up !!... To the Lord. "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 6.

Reach Up !!... For something higher. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, And He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6 7.

Lift Up !!... Your Prayers. "Do not worry about anything; Instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING." Philippians 4:6

God answers Knee-mail

I don't know what is going on with Blogger, but it wont let me publish my posts and it wont let me title the ones I have written. Sorry about the fact that it seems I have not posted in a long time. I hope this problem will correct itself soon.

So today we enjoyed a leisurely lunch at a little Italian restaurant in a nearby town. After that we followed directions to a large furniture store in another nearby town. This evening we went to the movies and filled out the first part of our adoption paperwork. We have had a beautiful weekend. The sun came out and the rain went away. It was cool and sunny and just lovely. I straightened up a little this afternoon and now I have to throw the roses away from my birthday. Alan had given me roses on my birthday. The next day was my day at the clinic and I got another dozen from him. He knew I was having issues with aging and wanted to make my day a little brighter. They have lasted quite a while but now it's time to say good bye too them. Otherwise, I'm gearing up for our trip to the states next month, and fixing to do a mountain of laundry tomorrow. Enjoy the Lord's day friends!

Lazy Days

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. We went furniture shopping and then walked around downtown for a while. Came home and took a nap and then went out to the celebration here on post. It had rained and hailed all day and so the place was a mud pit. We didn't stay too long and then we parked in the chapel parking lot to watch the fireworks. We felt a little bad because our boy Smokey doesn't like fireworks. They scare him. He was hiding under the desk when we got home. Today we are taking it easy. Filling out some paperwork we have put off etc. It's still raining. Praise the Lord! We went to the dfac for lunch. Not too good today. Way too much mayo in the deviled eggs. I love days like this. Lazy lay around days.

Bits and Pieces

Tomorrow is Independence Day back in the States. It's a little weird to celebrate this holiday in a country where they do not. The post will have a day long fair of sorts with booths and food and singers and all ending in a huge fireworks display. Pray it doesn't rain too much. I have to say though, I am still enjoying the rain. It keeps the heat down. Last year at this time I was sitting in this apartment with little furniture and nothing to do and no fan to keep me cool. Today, I don't even need a fan. I LOVE THAT! I don't do well with temperature extremes. Tomorrow we are going furniture shopping. We need to replace our desk and our entertainment center. We are looking for hard wood furniture that doesn't have ply wood or particle board as part of it. All hard wood. Easier to find here in Germany than in the States though. Today I need to get laundry done that didn't get done yesterday. After that I need to swiffer the floors and clean the bathroom. That's a weird thing too. German toilets are built differently than American ones are and you have to clean them a lot more. lol They are also extremely low flow so that adds to it too. After that I need to decide about supper. I have chicken breasts defrosted but I would like to find something new and exciting to do with them. Ambitious I know.