Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart

Trust. We sing about it, "Trust and Obey" "Do I trust you Lord?" "Standing on the Promises" I do love that one. But, when it comes right down to it do we really trust Him? I have dealt with that concept this weekend. We were supposed to know about our "Big Change" by Friday. No news. (For those of you who thought so, no I'm not pregnant. At least not as far as I know! and that wasn't what the big change was about) It is so hard for me to be patient sometimes. It would be easy for me to blame it on this generation of instant gratification, but the fact is I'm inpatient. Me, Rebecca. (I heard you say AMEN mother, all the way over here in Germany) So the past 2 weeks were an exercise in patience for me. I did well. Friday was a bit nerve racking but all in all I feel I passed the test. Our very sincere prayer was and is "If this is not your will Lord, please don't let it happen." So now here we are 3 days after we should have known. Patience is no longer an issue. Now it's trust vs fear. The Lord has impressed on my heart that we have been praying that prayer and meaning it but then as soon as I didn't hear what I wanted to hear when I thought I was entitled to hear it, I assumed the worst. Worst being defined as what I don't want to happen happening whether it's God's will or not. This morning I'm choosing to lay it at His feet. And leave it there. He has taken me through deeper waters than this. There is nothing I can do to make the decision one way or the other so I will trust Him. He knows what is best for us. In times like this, I think it really helps to remember what He has done for us in the past. A year ago we were told we were coming here. We had hoped for a Hawaii assignment. We had been fairly certain that we'd get it. Our prayer then was the same as now. We didn't get the assignment. We chose though, to thank God even though it didn't work out because the Bible says to thank God in ALL things. So we thanked Him because He had a plan and though we didn't understand we knew it was for our best. Turned out the guy who got Hawaii deployed to Iraq immediately after getting there. The day I was told my husband had a fatal illness and would likely be dead within a year. After I had cried my heart I heard His still, small voice and he said I'm here. I am the Lord who healeth thee. The time I prayed for Him to send me a husband. The time I asked to be allowed to get home in time to be with my dad a little before he died. All of the guidance during those challenging Jersey years. Do I trust Him? You bet I do. Those are only some of the highlights but they serve to remind me of how His hand has been over my life right from the start. Neither of my parents ever intended to have me and yet here I am. God knows what He's doing. I'll leave it with Him. And yes, as soon as I know anything you'll know as well.